An average human spends about 40 to 45 hours at work every week. Considering you spend that much time at work surrounded by other people, you will face a dilemma. Whether it's a micromanaging boss or talking to a colleague about their body odor, you must deal with them like a boss. Let’s look at three dilemmas.

Dilemma 1: Employee Quit and Deleted His Files

Your employee resigned without notice, leaving you in a pinch. You received many complaints about him bullying a colleague, being rude to his manager, and skipping supervision. It is good that he decided to leave.

Here's the problem--he was the lead on implementing a new companywide data tracking system. He was responsible for learning how to use all of the system's features and problem-solving issues that came up. He was the only one chosen to attend expensive training paid for by the company.

He was supposed to cross-train his colleagues on the back-end features of the system in the next few weeks. You just started using this system, and now people need to learn how it works. After he resigned, you discovered he had taken all his training notes and deleted all his files on his computer. Your IT department couldn’t recover anything either.

Now you are wondering if you can do anything to obtain any files or notes he may have. You have no leverage you can use in case he refuses. You have no way to enforce any consequences or incentivize him in any way. What do you do?

Resolution

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act makes it illegal for an employee to knowingly damage electronic files, including permanently deleting them without authorization. If you choose to take legal action, your employee could face criminal and civil liability. If you did want to pursue it, a lawyer could help you negotiate the return of the training notes as a way to settle it. Of course, that assumes he still has those notes, which he may not.

That's what you're legally entitled to do. But it may not be worth the hassle because someone else may only easily understand the employee’s notes. The notes may be pretty useless with the broader knowledge from the training to go along with them. You could go through all that and end up with mostly meaningless notes. But if you want to pursue it, talk with a lawyer about how to proceed.

Dilemma 2: Your Team is Complaining About One Colleague Being Late

One admin in your department rotates, covering the front desk with two other admins from another department. The other department is separate from you but only sits in the same suite of offices. Lately, the other admins have complained that your team member is a couple of minutes late (three to five, not every time) from lunch and breaks. They've suddenly decided that these few minutes each week are a significant burden on them. They have gone so far as to blast emails to all admins, scolding her and you. You know that she is conscientious about her job and time and is not abusing the coverage offered by others. 

You've let her know that you’re not concerned about her and that she isn't in trouble with you and won't be unless she becomes chronically late. Should you do more than that? Should you intervene in what amounts to a temper tantrum by another department's employees?

Resolution

Yes. If another department is upset with your team member, you should be involved in that.

But first, are you sure that being five minutes late isn't a problem? That wouldn't be a big deal in most jobs, but it can be with front desk coverage. For example, if your team member comes back five minutes late to relieve another admin who is running late to attend a meeting. Of course, the admin at the front desk doesn't know she'll be there in five minutes; he has to worry it could be longer and wonder if he should be rescheduling things.

So the first thing is to talk to the people complaining and find out more about the concern. If it's just "we don't like waiting a couple of extra minutes," that's one thing--but if it's impacting people's work, that matters, and you'd need to tell your team member she needs to be on time. And you should say to her that either way--this is a job where coverage does matter. If everyone else observes coverage times to the minute, then your team member needs to be more precise.

Find out if there is any particular problem with your team member’s behavior. Your approach might differ if other admins are regularly late by a few minutes and still complaining about your team member. In that case, ask about the actual work impact and hear them out. If it seems groundless, ask the other admins to talk to you directly instead of emailing a group. You may need to say this to their managers as well. But first, hear them out with an open mind--because your team member being generally conscientious doesn't diminish the possibility that there's something she needs to alter here.

Dilemma 3: Discussing Personal Issues with Colleagues

You are close with your colleagues. They know a fair bit about your personal life. You are going through something difficult in your personal life, like a separation or divorce. You don’t know if and how you should address questions about your home life when they inevitably arise. You know it will be weird and harrowing, pretending everything is fine. People will know something has changed because you used to be happy to talk about your home life in the past.

How do you find a tactical way of stopping people from asking questions about your personal life?

Resolution

It's entirely up to you! You can be vague if you want to and give generic answers. You can tell people--the next time someone asks about your spouse; you can say, "Actually, we're separated." The most likely to happen after that is that their face will fall, you'll get a sympathetic reaction, and you can respond to that however you want. One good option is, "I'm trying not to talk about it at work, of course, but we're both hanging in there," followed by an immediate subject change. You'll only have to do this a few times, and then the word will likely get around.

The key to managing any dilemma is to seek advice from whomever you trust can give you the guidance you need. Knowing when to ask for help is a skill one should learn to master. Asking for help means you can be vulnerable and know your limitations. I find that seeking an outsider’s perspective is a great way to deal with any dilemma. People who are not personally involved find it easier to look at the situation objectively.

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